Chris Columbus, the same director that brought us Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire and two Harry Potter installments, among others, seems to have gone all John Huges on us in an attempt to show teenage angst at its highest and lowest. Unfortunately, this languid cadence of clichés misses a beat or two, or three thousand.

I get that it’s supposed to be a small summer film (Fox hopes for a sleeper). The cast is not ostentatious: Hayden Panettierre (Heroes) is the title character, and her nerdy, wannabe boyfriend Denis Cooverman is played by the proboscisly gifted Paul Rust, whom you’ve probably never seen before. You won’t recognize many of the other cast members either. Most of the “action” takes place on their last high school night: at their graduation ceremony, Denis, the valedictorian, declares his undying love for cheerleader Beth, who hardly even knew he existed. The next 12-hours are filled with humiliation, parties, pranks, drinking, fights, sex, breakups and the inevitable revelations in which everyone comes to an understanding of who they truly are and where they’re going. “I’m more than a brain!” “I’m more than a cheerleader!” “I really am gay—and it’s okay!”

Been there, done that ad nauseum, both on screen and in person. I Love You Beth Cooper offers little new and different, and takes its sweet time bringing you to that realization. I’m thinking it will catch the crowd that has already seen Transformers 15 times, and is too young to get into Bruno.

Rated PG-13

—Lisa Johnson Mandell