Stereotypes tossing off platitudes: That pretty much sums up The Women, an ensemble film about love and friendship among upscale, fashionable girlfriends in New York. Now there’s an original concept. Writer/Director Diane English (the force behind Murphy Brown) is obviously going for a Sex and the City feel in this re-imagining of the Clare Boothe Luce play and the 1939 George Cukor film. But alas, this chick flick never comes close to the warmth, depth or fashion that we so loved in Candace Bushnell’s work. Think Carrie Bradshaw in Keds.

The film is surprisingly flat and vacuous considering the all-star cast, which includes Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Bette Midler, Cloris Leachman, Carrie Fisher, Debi Mazar and, of course, Candice Bergen. The problem is with the plot, which seems to revolve around shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. As much as I like patronizing that Mecca of Materialism, the product placement for the store, as well as La Perla lingerie, is nothing short of shameless.

You have your ubiquitous fashion designer and magazine editor who seem to populate every New York girlfriend story you read or see on screens big or little. There’s the obligatory birthing scene where the girlfriends coach because the husband can’t get there in time. And don’t forget the ridiculous rush to fame and fortune — in this case the character rents a chic, spacious loft, hires a huge staff and creates and shows an entire fashion line in 2-3 months. Gee, I wonder how the buyers from a prominent New York-based department store will feel about it? Characters are two-dimensional cutouts, and the talented actresses uttering the clichés look like they’re choking on them. Bening is the uptight fashion editor. Smith is the angry lesbian. Messing is the earth mother with a pack of children. Mendes is the other woman who is fooling around with Meg Ryan’s husband. Ryan is the perfect Connecticut wife and mother, while Bergen plays the wise, plastic surgery buff mother.

The one bright spot is Cloris Leachman, who appears as the ever-loyal housekeeper. At 82, she imbues a sincerity in her character which makes her feel infinitely more real than the rest. But even she can’t pull off a line like “Your Pradas are ruining my perennials,” hissed at a woman who should be standing in a flowerbed, but instead is planted firmly on a marble stair. The Women teeter and fall on their stilettos before they take five steps.

Rated PG-13.

 -- LJM